can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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