so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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