He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
