I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
