Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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