I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize