I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
