We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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