So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
