We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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