suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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