i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I met the friendliest cop last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize