Non-Jews are for practice
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
