well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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