i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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