OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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