That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
