your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
