I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
