I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
