Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Such a big mess for such a small penis
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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