Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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