Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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