Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
