im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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