Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
