so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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