Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
