ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's shark week go big or go home
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
