My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
