I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's always time for handjobs
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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