When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
