Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
