I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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