people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
