Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
