I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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