i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
