whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
