so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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