There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
