It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My cat gives me a boner
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
