i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He passed out mid-signature
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
third nipple confirmed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
