so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
