Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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