Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
