hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Panties = found
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
