bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
