Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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