I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize