She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
