8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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