I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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