apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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