Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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