He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
