whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
