I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
PANTIES FOUND
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