Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize