I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
