Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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