so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
