Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So squirting runs in the family.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
