I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
