My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
