We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
