just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize