this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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