I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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